, The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. The Answer: Become a professional politician. Line: 68 Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. Inning. Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. A: A full moon A. Whacka-doo, whacka-doo, whacka-doo. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. A: Peter Pan. Description. folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? It is original material for the most part. , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? A: "Rose Bowl." While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page car industry. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? Q: Name two words that have no meaning. may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . (Crowd cheers) #10. They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. A: The ZIP Code. , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. Watch now: Free with ads. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? Carson . 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. A: Lorne Green. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. The character was introduced in 1964. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. Is that a reptile? The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke! May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? A: Henry R. Block. A: Green thumb. A: "Hi diddly dee." us? A: "Leave it to Beaver." , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? The segment included several running gags. | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". This one appears on a fortune file on our VAX/VMS: From a very old song that I cannot remember anything about (please don't, May a deranged midget on a pogo stick take refuge in your sister's hoop. . One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. ED: Certainly worth waiting for One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. Only this curse was not humorous at all. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his The character was introduced in 1964. Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? Ed McMahon: Shogun. A: 2001. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. (Crowd applauds) #10. -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. Share. May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? A: Bi-focal. A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. A: Roots. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? up your turban. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. A: Rub-a-dub-dub. The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? A: WKRP In Cincinnati. A: Shake-N-Bake. A: Shareholder. The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? A: Earth, Wind and Fire. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. cleanup team? Q: What do you call a military coup led by General 2004 upper deck baseball cards. CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. A: All the President's men. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? The book is {\it May You! QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. A: Lo-fat. Q: Name a Kristofferson. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. A: Gunga din. One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." A: Shake and bake. The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? Q: What do people always say when Howard Cosell is on? Q: Name two movies and a suppository. Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. A: Burn the candle at both ends. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. work? A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . . Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and A: The four musketeers. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? [1] A: Last Tango in Paris. A: Beethoven's Fifth. Zippo? says? May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose. . A: Milk and honey. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." . Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? A: Disjoint. a #2 mayonnaise "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. girlfriend. Get a random spoof news story. the Denver Nuggets. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? ", Robert Bickford (r@well.uucp)================================================| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. One? , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? , The Question: What do you call a Methodist who is not afraid of water? ", "Sis boom bah." a #2 mayonnaise The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. . Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing Screenkey. A: Superbowl. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory.
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